A MOST PECULIAR JULY

In central Alabama, July is probably the hottest month of the year. I don’t think August is quite as hot as July. In July we celebrate Independence Day and my mother’s birthday. According to the Old Farmer’s Almanac, the period from July 3 to August 11 is known as “Dog Days”, the hottest, most sultry days of summer. A line in a song by the 70s group known as the Atlanta Rhythm Section goes, “the dog days are scorchers, southern torture.” When I think of dog days, I think of hot, humid, hazy days with afternoon thunderstorms. These thunderstorms pretty much always occur just when you are leaving the office and on days when you’re grass is getting a little high and you need to mow. Of course you can’t mow when it’s wet and the grass just grows more. The storms are generally short lived, and after they pass through and the sun comes out, steam can be seen rising from the asphalt, creating sauna-like conditions. Also, these storms are very isolated. It may rain like the dickens at work and when I get home, I haven’t had a drop; and vice-versa. It also might be raining at my house and not raining across the street. I work in a long building and I remember one time that it was raining at one of the building and not raining at the other. Also, by this time, we have usually had a few named tropical Atlantic storms/hurricanes. To date, we have had none.

While there have been some hot days this year, we haven’t had the day-to-day scorchers with the afternoon thunderstorms. We’ve had quit a bit of rain, but very few of the afternoon storms that are so prevalent during dog days. On the night before my Mom’s birthday, I was sitting out on my deck and it was slightly cool. For July, that’s a little abnormal for central Alabama.

What happened to global warming? According to “The Goracle”, the planet is getting hotter and we’re going to be toast by 2025 if we don’t quit driving our SUVs and do something about cattle passing gas. In fact, the term “global warming” is not used much anymore. Instead, the term “climate change” has been adopted. So a cooler than average July in central Alabama coupled with a very active spring tornado season is the result of overweight individuals, SUVs, George Bush, and the poor defenseless cows. While we humans do have control over our body weight and what we drive (we do now, but the government may be controlling that soon), cows have no control over their bodily functions.

Is the overall weather warmer now that it was when I was growing up? You know, it is; but it also now appears to be getting a little cooler than it was in the 90s. It used to turn cold for my birthday on November 4 (yea, I know about my birthday), but now it may be cool or it may be balmy. In 2005, we were running out of Atlantic hurricane names and had Katrina. Now, it’s July 29 and we haven’t had a named storm. The enormous number of hurricanes in 2005 was, according to liberals, George Bush’s fault. Well, the fact that this year is so different from 2005 and is a little abnormal is still George Bush’s fault along with the poor cows, overweight people, and SUVs.

After reading some of my earlier posts, I might be construed as an “angry white female”, Therefore, I decided to post something a little more comical and light-hearted. I hope you enjoy it and please remember to pray for our country and for our brave men and women of the armed forces.